


friendly neighborhood Supergays join fight club?

by TheImpalaClub



Series: amputee Peter Parker is an amazing thing [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Crime Fighting, New York City, amputee peter, fighting lessons, i'm half asleep bear with me, slightly gay, whatever i'm done tagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 05:52:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11799768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheImpalaClub/pseuds/TheImpalaClub
Summary: Peter wants Ned to learn how to fight in case anything ever happens to him as the Guy in the Chair. And then it comes in handy.





	friendly neighborhood Supergays join fight club?

**Author's Note:**

> my buddy Amanda's idea, my shitty late-night writing. also, some amputee!Peter because I will add this headcanon to everything I write. catch me publishing my first novel in 2 years and it starts with a random spider kid flying across the sky with no legs. I'm going to sleep. enjoy.

“I’m just saying, what if some guy, like, crashes in while you’re at the computer?” Peter slammed his locker shut and swung his backpack over his shoulder. “You’re supposed to be the guy in the chair, not the guy in a coma because one of the bad guys found his location.”  
Ned rolled his eyes, falling into step next to Peter. “Can’t I just have a cool gun?”  
“Do you know where we can get a cool gun?”  
“I don’t know, man. That’s hard. If only you were part of some kind of superhero team with access to the coolest weapons on the market. Or, like, friends with Tony Stark, or something.”  
Peter let out a short laugh. “Yeah. That would be amazing. They’re not gonna give you a gun. They barely let me use the microwave.”  
“Why?” Ned leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratory whisper. “Is it, like, an alien microwave?”  
“No.” Peter pushed Ned away and kicked the doors leading out of school open. “I burned popcorn once. Mr. Stark hasn’t let me near it since.”  
“Wow.” Ned stared down the street. “I can’t believe my best friend is banned from using Tony Stark’s microwave.”  
“Just… come over. I’m gonna teach you some self-defense moves. So you don’t die next time I have to go defeat my date’s evil dad, or something.” Peter sped up his pace and dodged the other students rushing down the sidewalk.  
Ned ran to catch up. “How many times do you think that’s going to happen?”  
-  
Peter rolled his shoulders back as Ned turned down the music coming from his laptop. “Okay. I’m gonna grab your wrists, and you gotta try and get out.” Peter wrapped his fingers around Ned’s wrists, trying not to make his grip too tight. Ned jerked his hands back. Nothing happened. So he tried again, pulling harder. Still nothing. Finally he just kicked Peter in the shin as hard as he could. All he got in return was a raised eyebrow. “Dude. That’s a prosthetic. I don’t have legs. Remember?”  
Ned sighed. “It would have worked on literally anyone else.”  
“What if they’re wearing armor, or something?”  
“Shit.”  
Peter couldn’t help laughing a little. “Here. Twist your hands until your thumbs line up with mine. Now pull back.”  
“Okay, you just let me go. That doesn’t count.”  
Peter grinned. “When have I ever passed up the chance to be better than you at something?”  
The lesson continued for another hour, though it didn’t accomplish much and ultimately ended when May came in to tell them she’d ordered dinner. They were going to continue it afterwards, but somehow that turned into staying up watching Star Wars in bed on Peter’s laptop. Which was what it ended up as almost every lesson in the Fridays following. But Ned started to learn.  
“Where did you even learn this stuff?” he asked one day.  
“Black Widow taught me a few things after the stuff at the airp-”  
Ned’s jaw dropped. “Black Widow taught you how to fight? Holy shit.”  
“I mean, she mostly just kicked my ass and then told me how she did it.”  
“Do you know how much I’d pay to get my ass kicked by any of the Avengers?”  
“You can get it for free, right now.” Peter took a step back and smirked.  
Ned cracked his knuckles. “Come at me, Spidey.”  
-  
Peter ducked into an alley, keeping his eyes trained on the van stalking down the nearly-empty street. As it turned the next corner, he climbed onto the roof of the office building for a better view. “Ned. I got a picture of the plates. Karen, send him the picture. Do you know where they’re heading yet?”  
“Not quite, but it looks like the base is somewhere in Washington Heights.”  
“Shit. That’s halfway across the city.”  
Ned scoffed. “Oh, I’m sorry, is that too far for Spider Man? You’ll go fight Captain America in Germany but you won’t go to a different neighborhood in NYC?”  
“It’s just… I thought I could get this done sooner. Shut up.” Peter followed the van at the closest distance possible, swinging between buildings and staying carefully out of view.  
“What did you tell your aunt you were doing?”  
“Working on a project at your house. Which isn’t a complete lie, I guess. She might call your parents though.”  
“She never used to.”  
Peter dropped onto a fire escape. “Yeah, well, she’s been protective as hell lately. Not that I blame her. Last time I went out alone I lost half my limbs.”  
There was a crashing noise from Ned’s end of the call. And then another one. Then nothing. “Ned?” Peter half-shouted, a stab of panic shooting through him. He jumped off the fire escape and debated whether he should go back and just call Tony Stark. “Karen, what’s going on? Is Ned okay?”  
“The connection has been lost. I can try to call him again.”  
“Yeah. Um, do that.” Peter turned another corner.  
-  
Meanwhile, Ned was in the basement of the public library, feeling like a badass but also kind of like throwing up. Fighting the masked guy that had come up behind him in the middle of his conversation with Peter was a lot different than fighting his best friend in the bedroom of one of their apartments. For one thing, when this guy had pushed him out of his chair, it had actually hurt. And so did everything else Ned couldn’t block. Which was a lot less than he’d been expecting, but still. He was going to have to explain how he got a split lip from a trip to the library. Ned punched the guy under his ear, basically incapacitating him for a bit, and that at least gave him time to close his computer and turn on a light.  
That didn’t last long, though. Soon they were back at it, Ned ducking and dodging and wondering if maybe Peter should have taught him something other than defense, because he was definitely running out of ideas. He glanced down at the man’s shoes, an idea forming. Ned swung his own foot around and kicked the masked guy behind the knee as hard as he could. He stumbled and almost fell. Grinning, Ned picked up the nearest chair and threw it at the guy’s head. His phone started ringing.  
-  
“It’s me. I’m fine.”  
“What happened? I thought you died.” Peter breathed a sigh of relief.  
“There was this dude with a mask. I knocked him out with a chair.” Ned shoved his things into his backpack. “I think I’m gonna do this somewhere else. Like a Starbucks or something.”  
“It’s almost one in the morning.”  
“Then, not Starbucks. You get my point.”  
“You knocked a guy out with a chair?”  
He looked at the unconscious figure on the floor next to him. “Yeah, a little bit.”  
“That’s awesome.”  
“You stole Captain America’s shield.”  
“I’m a superhero. We’ve got different standards of awesome.”  
“That’s true.”  
“For a peasant, you’re pretty badass.”  
Ned smiled on his way up the stairs. “Hell yeah, I am.”


End file.
